The Girlfriend Experience

The Girlfriend Experience

Will your breath be the only air I wish to breathe?
Will your lips call to me?
Will your touch break my heart but make me whole?
Will your voice sail me to the stars?
Will your gaze emote longing lust fever stardust?
Will your breathing, asleep, awaken me to a million kisses yet?
Will your laughter make my life worth living?
Will my heart, given, feel returned, not riven?
Will your scent, left behind, twist me bind me own me crown me make break me...
Will you let me seek you take you know you bend you remake you Adam & Eve snake you, partake you, madder lake & slake you
Will you.....

Cobwebs, Dust

Cobwebs, Dust

Cobwebs, dust, windows sealed from time
faded photos, art, the smell of morning coffee...

We stopped by the roadside to inspect the house, satanically decorated with hand-painted bottles dias de muertos skulls demons the dead & dying, a squat for occult bikies & disenfranchised evil, it was 1976; my father acknowledged no master, no god no state
but looked seriously at the 5 of pentangles, the adults stopped their curiosity packed me back up in the car & drove off.....
Driving down that dip always reminds me of that roadside place, as though if we pulled off the highway it would be Queensland & my father would be alive & smoking Turkish tobacco & be smiling at the lithe young woman in the floppy straw hat & I in my Principality of Hutt River Sovereign State 1970 t-shirt would I risk another's purgatory for a Lethe draft that past that past.....I guess I would.

Heat to the paint, broom to the cobwebs (& the system, DFW), air through the rooms & fresh coffee made & drunk I look forward to the next memory as I scrape back the past that clings, unwanted, & the past that fades, so wanted, wanted, but brooms & rooms & air & tomorrow......

Kenoma (Unha oración para o eterno )

Kenoma

(Unha oración para o eterno )

Separated by only one letter

but that letter

an alphabet soup

an ocean of words

a billion madrigals

a trillion Carmina Gadelicas

whispered lying down,

little deaths

Only greater rebirths

births

lost souls spilt and

washed away

time's ocean

a'mend of fishes...

Ether/ Real

Ether/ Real

Ready to leave, I stayed
Overstayed it seems

Licked French lemonade lips and saliva

Leeched candy floss, mandarin breath

Into another arena, bullish, primed but
Not ready for toreador,matador,picador
Failure, blind; I tasted it
Like a cipher for lost thoughts & loves
Our shared imminence pumped through veins
Unsatisfied, bloodied, dazed; my carcass dragged
Renew the performance, minutes, days:unbalanced seesaw,playground, play.

Swept Up Up.... and Away

                                                                         Swept Up
                                                                         Up....
                                                                         and Away


                                                                            I.
 We made a bell chamber
rang
noon
midnight
and thought we helped
by pealing through the silence
darkness
night;
But the more I gave
the less you wanted
til you wanted not me
but a down payment on a loan
of what interest your
our
genes
demand:
Ransom of our DNA
must we pay & pay?
                                                                          II.

Strange dreams of tenderness
and sex;
What we want
we want.
Now I look at morning
a fortress of solitude in my mind
a kryptonite world surrounding
The real world, grounding.

Momento Mori, Amore et Purgatorio

Momento Mori, Amore et Purgatorio

" ..And that much can never be obsolete,
since someone will forever be surprising
a hunger in himself to be more serious,"
Philip Larkin, “Church Going" 

1.One moment
cleaved into a million cells
mitosis of an ancient germ
a need we cultivated & enshrined
in a chapel of a trillion hearts.
That rivulet broke banks
over and over
and so many still crave a drop
of what drowns us when it's over.

2. Yes;
full agreement
we cashed each other like cheques
then withdrew too much
overbalanced
tut tuts and stentorian tones
once we were beyond Mamon
now, we pay back the pounds of our flesh
and feign distress.

3.No
It's just regret;
that pause
purgatory
that I invested
in a margin bet
and like a rook
could not move
beyond my set,
serpent's breath.

http://youtu.be/YkLESjBxEmw

Garlic, Almonds, a Moiety

Even when I don't wake up with that feeling
I wake up with that feeling;
The smell of almonds
An odour of garlic
a type of sweetness
Nimh
Which look of disgust was greater
or more disgusting
or more envious
on our shared bus, a trope for this house on fire we all wake up in,
You can't unring a bell
as I slowly return to my shell
put time into changing the wallpaper, the skirting boards, the cornices
the pointlessness
My fingertips ride the water's skin like my fingers think they'll ride along your skin
but neither break the surface tension
waterspiders
fastboats to days end
slowboats not to Jack & Danny
but to wrack and many
many
poisoned days.
Ink on my tongue,lip; I carry our shared heat like a lantern,
cold hands on a slip of paper
perhaps you'll call me later.

Spidra

Ah Nick! ah Nick! it is na fair, 
First showing us the tempting ware, 
Bright wines, and bonie lasses rare, 
To put us daft 
Syne weave, unseen, thy spider snare 
O hell's damned waft.
Epistle To Colonel De Peyster, Robert Burns
I.
Fisherman of space, skies
they make their own lines,
and catch, not with,
flies

II.
Not the dream I wanted
but still
nice....now even in dreams too many people
seem to have us on tenterhooks,
do spiders get stuck on other spiders webs?
I tried to make 8 special shoes
to run lines in a play with you as Ariadne
but our silk ran out
& you got stuck in the webs of others.

III.
Empath on the warpath
barreling through each roadblock
hellbound & down, at first,
then limbo; pulling up Lethe's pillow, blankets of webs
and half days
I'll be a corner in your dream some day,
a touch forgotten but familiar.

Because of what, & why not?

Because of what, & why not?

" Towards our sentimental friend the moon
a howl..." B.A.S, Memoir of a Dog

Walking walking walking
headlights shine like arrayed fangs of sharks who turn at speed
a sudden fog
Compleat mist to catch a nightcrawler but I harken to an-others call
The street awash in filament & diuresis
mercaptan my mercaptan
broken glass no more pungent than broken hearts,
kale burning on an island of Hong Kong
She walked by saying leading things
Nightclub lycanthropy the least of being
the steady lack of presence in contrast to
the constant essence lacking in our constant,
two, lessens,
Lessons
Lesions on a couer so used to damage
it hardly feels the breath of warmth
that care can manage.

Farthest Shore

Farthest Shore

'Donec posteaquam transitu optata'- Virgil, The Aeneid BK VI

So.......
We, the voting, head-of-the-household , free we,
redouble our efforts
for something we've had before
been burnt by before
haunted by before
Cursed
hated
declaimed to heaven before
Knew to be capricious
but still....
I am no man
I am an island
Swim to me
or drown
in your shallow sea;
Your sisters were sirens here once,
I seduced & replaced them all.

NEK MINUTE

Despise reject loathe dismiss
want need desire wonder
curiosity
killed all that but
more
You need 
I need 
So 
desire require lust diverge
investigate
touch hold feel taste
Less
More
I almost died but.....
We almost got off at the same stop
next minute....an hour had passed
& the day has gone: but you touched me first
TAG
that's it?

http://youtu.be/RsQjC5zVnt8

Adonis, July 

I'm sorry that I did not respond
rightly
to your slight interest, to you, to what I saw in you
girl with a male gods' name
I saw the duplication in our times & spun-off in a million wrong directions:
I am not the lion of my father
but more a cat of ease & opportunity
Coupari
Our paths will cross again
and I hope our hearts and minds will mend & melt more sweetly
or at least with sweet intent
when next we make a gaze a firmament.

Flower On a Mountaintop

You resented my high
highs
as though you had any approach
to pleasure
toll gated & mined
Boom goes the dynamite
your half-sketched lord a detention room teacher
I'll take that, that
& that
from you
as though  pleasure could be a prefects' privilege...
But where was your Cerberus
when I traced a hundred lullabies upon your back
& you sang me a waterfall
Short of breath...
" what do you want?" you asked
& I told you
showed you....
remember me
forget me
not
We molded a cast unbroken
and swung away until our arms & hearts were broken.

A Star? An Eagle? Un Lamento

I saw Her 
& then her name
on the rookie board
and knew where she was from
and that I wanted to know her-
So we talked & flirted
but
nothing happened
And then.... she drove me home; waited to drive me home, 1, 2 3 or more hours after she had finished her shift....
but I lived in a commission flat
and though she was not 'posh'
I felt ashamed
and that she was classier than that
Five
Six
Seven times- more-
I looked across at her
a brief touch
a kiss on the cheek
Nothing more;
never You
Always me.

Salí de su partido para el equivocado, y me arrepentí desde entonces

I can probably only cure my misanthropy with love, care & tenderness...




' A Little Extra, Not Enough, but Something'
1.
So suddenly close to me, then I felt her head on my shoulder, and all my coolness melted away
like smoke in the breeze;
Her manner, poise, wit, intellect
left me deer in the headlights-
Dear, you are a delight.....
2.
We held hands, as instructed, then, for some reason intrinsic to her sweetness
She took my hand again
and squeezed it gently
and as the seconds ticked slowly by,
I felt alive,
and worthy.
3.
Alone in the greenroom,
She casually changed her clothes in front of me,
gaze steady & locked on me no shred of timidity
Sheer black underwear
shining like a calm & moonlit, as yet uncharted sea,
and I Elric,
Longing to sail across it
and beyond....
I held her hand briefly to guide
and we hurried onto the set,
No comment on the moment made
un momento perdido....